Being Autistic during the Holidays

With the holiday season comes family, friends, and joyous memories. So why is it you may see an autistic loved one want to avoid the family by staying in their room or seem more on edge than usual? With autism comes a combination of different aspects of being autistic that you may forget existing day to day.

It can be difficult for you, or your autistic loved one, to be in crowds, eat different foods, wear clothes they don’t usually wear, etc. but with the holiday season, it’s not ONE of these issues, it’s ALL of them!

As a parent, I know it can be distressing and embarrassing to encounter situations where you feel the need to defend yourself or your loved one to justify their behavior or ask them to “hang in there!” to avoid confrontation.

But like most things in life, it’s complicated and there is no one size answer that fits every situation.

Maybe sometimes you can bring yourself to wear an uncomfortable shirt longer than you would’ve liked. Or go to the holiday party but leave a couple of hours early.

At the end of the day, what matters most is the happiness and health for the people you love and spend your day-to-day life with, not once a year guest who assume the worst from a simple early departure. No one owes explanations to anyone else when it comes to health.

But on the other hand, it’s important to remember that social obligations and bonds only strengthen and grow when they are nurtured with positive moments. To have a strong family and community there for you when you need them means being there for them too during their important moments.

Skipping every holiday may keep you comfortable, but it also may rob you of precious moments where you could have shared laughter and joy with your loved ones.

Our time is limited and coming together for the holidays means going out of your way to see family, even if it’s inconvenient because the memories from the reunion bring warmth throughout the whole year.

There is no perfect answer, but this is my genuine perspective.

Try, even when it may feel a bit uncomfortable, if the memory of the occasion will make you feel loved and warm long after that day is done.

To loved ones, try to not hold tiny transgressions against them and instead work towards comfort on all sides and solutions for the future circumstances.

There are so many things that can trigger a meltdown during the holiday season, so try being open minded and keeping an eye out on possible triggers will help the whole holiday season pass by with fewer bumps in the road.

The holiday season is a joyous occasion for everyone. Although it can be hard to empathize because we experience it differently from one another, we ALL want each other to have happy holidays.